October 2084
It’s time to confess. It’s my fault that every presidential election for the past sixty-four years has been Biden vs. Trump.
It started back in 2020. I was wandering masked and alone through an abandoned Costco parking lot, hoping to find a discarded packet of yeast, and consumed with worry about the possibility of Trump winning a second term when I saw it: a monkey’s paw.
A single finger remained open—the middle one. I picked it up, and the words flew from my mouth. “I wish for Biden to beat Trump!”
The finger slowly curled shut, a clap of thunder rang out from the sky, and a chill ran down my spine.
Lo and behold, that November, Biden won. Yes, Trump’s supporters attacked our nation’s capitol and tried to hang Mike Pence, but at least Biden was president.