The White House proudly announces that the first-ever National Women’s Day will be held on March 8. Formerly—and badly—known as “International Women’s Day,” President Trump has patriotically renamed this holiday to honor the best women on the planet: the women of the United States of America.
To mark this inaugural holiday, the president is proud to announce his five-part Agenda for American Women:
1. PASSING THE ERA
For too long, American women have lived as second-class citizens, their rights assumed but not guaranteed. That changes today with the introduction of the Equal Rifle Amendment. This constitutional amendment, proposed by Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene at an NRA-sponsored chin-up competition, will guarantee that women cannot be discriminated against based on sex when buying and selling rifles. President Trump firmly believes that no matter how bad they are at sex, women should be entitled to carry guns, because it makes them hotter.