There are several common lines of inquiry when someone learns you’re vegan. These scripted responses will spare everyone a tedious conversation and might even make you less annoying at dinner parties (but probably won’t).
Where do you get your protein?
From peanut butter, seitan, and the ten thousand french fries I eat every time I join my non-vegan friends out for dinner.
Would you break your veganism if you were stranded on a desert island and had to choose between eating animals and starving to death?
No, I’d survive on a nutritious diet of moral self-righteousness. Okay, fine, and a single guppy that lived a full happy life and died of natural causes.

