Sorry, new kid, we’re already sitting here. Hang on, are you Christopher Columbus? I’m India. People keep saying you can’t stop talking about me. They say you’ve been, like, looking for me? Weird.
Wait, I heard you found a whole other country and thought it was me. Is that true? That’s so embarrassing. Why are you obsessed with me?
Is that a map you drew of me? OMG, I do not look like that. Why’d you draw me so small and Italy so big? I’m literally ten times bigger. Is this your way of trying to make yourself relevant? That’s honestly so insecure of you.
No, like, someone told me you wrote a whole letter to the king and queen of Spain saying you “discovered” me?! That’s so sad. We’ve all been here, and you literally just got here. Wait, you seriously didn’t know about the Americas?
Bangladesh, stop laughing! Seriously, you’re being mean.
Sorry, those are my other Asian friends. We’re really caffeinated right now. We drink a lot of tea. And we spill it, lolz. So like, why do you keep talking about me? You want my spices? Turmeric and chili peppers? No offense, but you don’t look like you can handle those.
