By now, you’ve noticed our brave patriots—ICE, the National Guard, police officers, select local mall cops, rando bodyguards, weird little incels, Klan members, Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, some dudes we don’t know cosplaying as Walker, Texas Ranger—patrolling your city. Maybe even arriving via Blackhawk helicopter.
What do we do out on patrol? We catch bad guys. Also, female grad students who may have written an article that was critical of Israel.
We separate people from their kids. Tackle as many of them as possible. Zip-tie their toddlers and grandparents. And stand around looking tough. We look so tough.
Increasingly, we also really need to take dumps.
Look, there’s no time to dress it up with flowery language.
These are sixteen-, eighteen-, and twenty-hour days spent out in public, on sidewalks, in parking lots, courthouse lobbies, napping in old Mazda 626s, you name it.
It’s a lot of surveillance. A lot of wrestling. A lot of Zyns. A lot of energy drinks. And a lot of Panera and Taco Bell.