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Created
Tue, 26/08/2025 - 23:00

Last month, my beloved dog Buster suddenly became unresponsive. He could barely move, and he refused to eat or drink. After an ultrasound, the vet told us she found an incurable cancerous mass on his spleen. “Take him home and give him all of his favorite treats,” she said, “and then call me tomorrow and we’ll say good-bye.” On the way home, in a pit of abject devastation, I stopped by the Cambridge PetSmart down near Alewife and picked up a spread of special dog treats.

Enter the Dunkin’ Vanilla Glaze Flavor Dog Biscuits, an absurd donut-shaped treat that nobody asked for. Made with vague ingredients and enriched with flavors dogs crave, such as “yogurt” and “natural flavors,” these iced dog biscuits are sprinkled with rainbow jimmies that add a burst of color to the tartar controlling crunch.

Created
Tue, 26/08/2025 - 22:00

This agreement is between me (“me”) and you (“the dog”) and is designed to govern the rules, policies, and expected behavior on our walks together.

Definitions and
walk cancellation policies

You are entitled to one (1) long walk per day, not including our four (4) regularly scheduled trips around the block so that you can conduct your business. If an urgent need arises outside of these planned trips, a signal such as pawing at the door or barking is requested before rendering diarrhea.

Each long walk will be for a period between one and three hours, and is contingent on factors like weather conditions, my current work schedule, and how much battery life remains in my earbuds.

If a long walk is not possible due to force majeure such as illness or inclement weather, you are entitled to equivalent compensation, including an indoor training session to perfect your sitting, an extra bone, and some tennis ball tosses (not to exceed one hundred tosses in a period of twelve hours. This is non-negotiable. No, really. Don’t stand next to the ball and tilt your head like that.)

Created
Tue, 26/08/2025 - 19:24
With the above cautions in mind, we may view each statistical analysis as a thought experiment in a fictional “small world” or “toy example” sharply restricted by its simplifying assumptions. The questions that motivated the study must be translated properly into this fictional world; statistical methods then answer the questions via mathematical deductions from the […]
Created
Tue, 26/08/2025 - 12:31
The US government is to take a 15% cut of Nvidia and AMD chip sale profits to China. There are also discussion of taking a 10% stock share in Intel. Meanwhile the Pentagon has taken a hundred million dollar stake in a rare earth miner, and guaranteed minimum prices. As Albert Pinto notes, this isn’t […]
Created
Tue, 26/08/2025 - 06:49
In 1958, with the publication of the twenty-fifth volume of Econometrica, Trygve Haavelmo assessed the role of econometrics in advancing economics. While he praised its ‘repair work’ and ‘clearing-up work,’ he also found reason for despair: We have found certain general principles which would seem to make good sense. Essentially, these principles are based on […]
Created
Tue, 26/08/2025 - 03:00

Like a fool, I used to resist, but no more. In the past, I railed against the rise of AI. I preached small-minded sermons to students who had to sit through my tirades to get a passing grade. I used to curse and mutter at the head of the class, as the commercial for Grammarly played when I tried to show a YouTube clip about permaculture. Now, I search for the Grammarly commercials, show them in their entirety, then try to convert any students who, somehow, remain unconvinced of AI’s absolute utility.

I call such pitiable souls The Lost. Some of them are still writing their own essays, if you can believe that. Some of them even aspire—and I promise you that I’m not making this up—to write an entire book at some point in their life. Thankfully, there is still hope for The Lost, and it comes, now as ever, in the form of embracing salvation, which looks like this:

Created
Mon, 25/08/2025 - 22:00

By age three, your authoritarian should be able to blame juice spills on political enemies, such as a baby sibling or a weird uncle. If he or she (but likely he) can’t, you should begin offering assistance. Tip over his cup of juice and see if he diverts the blame.

By age four, your authoritarian should be starting to demand loyalty from others, such as their stuffed animals.

Your authoritarian should start to create alternative facts by age five. If they haven’t, they might be dumb. Don’t worry, though—a lack of intellect doesn’t preclude them from becoming an authoritarian.

By age six, your authoritarian should have convinced a younger sibling that vegetables are a leftist conspiracy. The conspiracy itself should be easy for them to grasp, as it is true. What you want to look out for is their persuasion skills—are they developing at a normal pace? And if your authoritarian doesn’t have a younger sibling, make one. You don’t want them falling behind.