Sure, our health care, environment, and economy all hang in the balance of some two hundred mostly unpopular, mostly white men. And yeah, by Friday, it might be too late to reverse this last push to plunge our country into darkness. But we’re the news, baby, and that shit’s way too depressing.
Pay no attention to the millions of people who will lose their health care in the next decade because of this. You didn’t tune into our round-the-clock newsgasm to hear about big, sad numbers or whatever the “nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office” says. You came here to be entertained! Now watch this commercial with an original song about a weight-loss pill that’ll kill you and maybe, in a few days, bankrupt you.
