Saw my interview on CNN, did you? The one in which I said a functioning state is an impediment to the Great Tribulation that precedes the Rapture? You’re probably wondering why every Republican administration is like turning over a rock and finding a bunch of weird bugs hanging out right underneath the foundations of our government.
Allow me, a proud Weird Bug and member of the House Ways and Means Committee, to explain.
This is who I’ve always been. I made the local news in 1993 for accusing my neighbors of performing animal sacrifice in their basement. Then I ran for office and had to clean it up a bit.
At least, I assumed I had to. The thing is, I didn’t know shit when I was first elected. For example, I had no idea you could just say you wanted children to starve. I thought you had to talk about government waste and the national debt and hope your constituents understood that “waste” meant “anything that might accidentally help an immigrant” and the debt was the excuse for getting rid of those things.

