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The strange mushroom that puffs life into forests around the world.
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Hey, I’m the manager of the restaurant you’re dining at, and— just a quick heads up— it looks like you ordered the only dish on our menu that comes on a different type of plate.
How fun is that?
Before you ask, yes, it’s flamboyant—excessively so. Yelp reviews have described this dish and its presentation as “over the top,” “a nonsensical and disrespectful way to serve chicken piccata,” and “enough to get my friends to refer to me as ‘Viscount Jeremy’ for the remainder of my miserable life.”
There’s no real reason why we serve our chicken piccata on an ornate Medieval serving tray—complete with traditional Dark Age–era cutlery, a garishly embellished gravy boat, and a historically accurate replica of the crown Henry Tudor would’ve worn at his feasts—while the rest of our dishes are delivered on minimalist white plates from Crate & Barrel, but that’s just how things shook out.
Outrage, like all emotions, has its time and place. One should, for example, be outraged at a genocide.
Outrage is a powerful emotion and engaging people’s emotions can provide wealth, fame, clicks and even power. Which brings us to the “last supper” Olympics outrage bullshit.
This is not the Last Supper, and only a cultural illiterate and dribbling moron would think so:
(Click here for a refresher on the tragic events of the “Larger Than Life” video.)
I won’t sugarcoat it, boys: I’m incensed. We pulled you out of cryosleep after a millennium because we’d heard that, back in AD 1999, you’d conquered the Chartz—an evil alien race that’s declared war on humanity here in the year 3000. But nothing I saw during the attack on our space station yesterday suggests you’re capable of conquering anything other than my patience.
“Larger Than Life” is a catchy tune, fellas, I’ll give you that. But that little earworm won’t save us from the literal earworms the Chartz want to implant in our skulls.