Finally, and not a moment too soon, our government will look, smell, and act like the real America. Not an Ivy League college campus, not a melting pot of immigrants striving to achieve the American dream, but instead an endlessly replenishing stream of shout-talking men outraged that people with disabilities or families with children who are offered extra assistance actually take it, along with a steady diet of morning beers, explosive rage, and ketchup.
It’s far past time for those who “govern” to demonstrate the same lack of awareness as everyone pretending not to know what boarding group they’re in. And why did we win January 6 if not for the right to berate underpaid service workers who aren’t allowed to unionize and also so we can have both pizza and tequila shots for breakfast? Why was 9/11 an inside job if not for our hard-won ability to wear pajama bottoms and inflatable neck pillows in public and constantly have to relearn through the application of loud buzzing sounds and shame that jewelry is made of metal? And what was the whole point of all those genocides if not to have unlimited access to themed socks and overpriced regional T-shirts?
