- by Kerry Goettlich
Reading
Start with your closet. Identify all the T-shirts you haven’t worn in three years. Then throw away all your clothes, including the ones you’re wearing.
Use a duster to clean off the top shelves above your bed. After that, tear down the shelves and blow them to smithereens.
Do a blanket purge. A purge of all the blankets. You don’t need them.
Flush all your prescription meds down the toilet. If you want them later, it’s not a big deal—you can just wade into the sewers to find them again. They’ll be waiting for you. It’s not like they’ll have found a new job.
Toss 90 percent of the canned beans in your pantry. You only have 10 percent left, which corresponds to half a can of beans. That should be fine; you don’t even like beans.
Remove your plates from the kitchen cabinet and smash them on the floor. Shards are the most efficient way to dispose of them anyway, because there’s a risk of injury, so you’ll act faster.
Pay someone $5 million to come and take away your most expensive furniture.
Bring in a toddler with a history of racist tweets to help you dismantle your fire alarm.
In his new book, Michael Joseph Gross explores how the notion of strength has changed since Homer
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