Thanks for coming in. Have a seat.
I realize there’s a lot going on right now between work and the seven-headed dragon that is here to brutally murder us, but I really need you to focus. As you know, this is a critical time for our company, and every individual needs to be accountable. Your lack of punctuality with your expense reports is very telling of where your priorities lie. Obviously, you aren’t as concerned with work as I’d like you to be.
I understand death is imminent, but as long as you’re working here, you’re expected to act professionally. And that means getting your projects done in a timely manner so we can continue operating for as long as we can stay solvent. Or alive. Honestly, I can’t tell what will come first, bankruptcy or death. Obviously, if it’s bankruptcy, then we’ll all be fired (as in we’ll all lose our jobs). That means no more benefits like health insurance. Which your family may very well need if this noxious gas emanating from the earth’s crust is anything to worry about.
