Beowulf, a new prose translation into Gen Z.
Fam. The Spear-Danes in, like, pre-Boomer days
And the kings who ruled them served courage and greatness, straight facts.
We have heard of these princes’ GOAT campaigns
There was Shield Sheafson, canceler of many tribes,
A high-key shredder of mead benches, flexing all over foes.
This dragger of the hall-troops had come far.
A smol bean to start with, he would glow up hard later on
As his powers got fire af and his rizz went viral. Legend.
In the end, each group chat on the outlying coasts
Beyond the whale road had to simp for him
And begin to pay tribute. That was one absolute unit of a king. I stan.