Our 10th most-read article of 2023.
Originally published January 10, 2023.
1. Digging for Clams
What the hell is Betsy doing in the bathroom for so long? Digging for clams?
2. Spelunking
My Tinder date was so pathetic I would have had a way better time spelunking—and I have a hook for a hand!
3. Tickling My Fancy
Oh, hi, Mom. No, I’m not busy, just tickling my fancy. What, you too?
4. Flicking Fiona
What the fuck? Are you flicking Fiona? Both hands on the wheel, bitch. We’re on the freeway!
5. Slugging the Sister
Some say roof repair and slugging the sister make a dangerous combination, but I call that shit multitasking.
6. Damning the Beaver
Who can blame me for damning the beaver? That was the most boring Christmas pageant ever!