“An acquittal is yours for the asking if you’re white, male, and nefarious,” one perpetrator said. “I check all the boxes.”
Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report
In an angry letter, Kevin McCarthy and other G.O.P. House members said, “the White House has stubbornly refused to provide us with any reasons for our doing so.”
“What kind of a man relies on his son to get impeached?” Trump said. “Joe Biden is a disgrace.”
Nearly all of the G.O.P. contenders immediately agreed to sign the pledge.
The Florida governor appeared anguished by the loss of what his aides disclosed was the most cherished footwear he owned.
“However, let’s be clear: while we Proud Boys are considering changing the name of our group, ‘Elderly Boys’ is not one of the options in the mix,” the former Proud Boy said.
“This trial must be held out in the open, in a parking lot.”
A fifty-four-year-old upstart seeks to wrest the crown of mendacity from an aging but still dangerous seventy-seven-year-old.
“Those indictments didn’t happen all by themselves,” the former New York mayor told Fox News. “It took a village, and that village was me.”
Stressing that she was speaking “totally hypothetically,” Mrs. Trump said that the former President’s blizzard of court appearances would present scheduling challenges “if someone wanted to divorce him.”