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Created
Sat, 15/03/2025 - 03:30

TO: Heads of Executive Departments and Agencies
FROM: Department of Grammar Efficiency (DOGE)
RE: Guidance on grammar

The federal Government is eliminating inefficient grammar. NO ONE understands how to properly use an em-dash or semicolon. Therefore, those types of punctuation are now ELIMINATED to protect hard-working American Citizens from further confusion. YOUR WELCOME.

The American People have registered their distaste for long words. You will no longer have to look up the word “sesquepedalian” in the dictionary. In fact, President Trump now forbids Americans from owning dictionaries.

From now on, the president requires Agency Heads to promptly stop using metaphors or similes when communicating within their agencies, with other agencies, or with the general public. It’s like riding a bicycle; you will get used to it.

THERE IS TO BE ABSOLUTELY NO HAIKU IN EMAILS.

Created
Sat, 15/03/2025 - 00:00


“At some point you see somebody do a lot of the same thing and call them a hack. And then I thought, How do you become a hack? At least hacks make a living.”

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Over a year ago, a mutual friend let the artist Michael Smith know I was interested in doing an interview with him. The friend showed Smith the previous piece I’d published, an interview with someone also named Michael. Smith’s only response, as far as I know, was, “Which Mike is he going to interview next?”

Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 23:00

I know many Americans are fearful about the state of democracy, but let me be the first educator to say: Don’t worry. We teachers are almost finished with the liberal brainwashing of our nation’s children. Right now, every public school student in America awaits our instructions for a coordinated leftist insurrection, which we’ll deliver just as soon as we get this beef jerky out of the pencil sharpener.

Yeah, it’s teriyaki-flavored, which seems a bit stickier than the flamin’ jalapeño from last week, but really, it’s not a problem. Utter complicity is at hand—the cafeteria will simply remove beef jerky from the à la carte line, just like they removed string cheese, carrots, and other pencil-shaped foodstuffs last semester, and we’ll be back on track with the master plan:

  • sharpen pencils
  • command brainwashed scholastic mob to compose and unleash millions of pro-DEI op-eds upon the billionaire-owned media
  • enjoy transgender communism

Once we find a fine-bristled brush for the really crusty bits, nothing will stand between us and victory. Nothing!

Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 22:54

Tribune is pleased to announce that socialist writer and academic Alex Niven will be joining as its new editor. Niven, author of New Model Island, Folk Opposition and The North Will Rise Again, brings a wealth of experience in political and cultural criticism. His work has explored themes of regionalism, class, and national identity, making him a fitting choice to help […]

Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 22:38

Taking your first steps with Drupal? No matter your professional role, your journey with Drupal will be full of exciting discoveries. One of them is an outstanding community of passionate, fun, and brilliant people who love sharing their expertise. Once you experience how it feels to be part of it, you’ll never want to seek a different platform.  

This community is gathering soon for the biggest Drupal event of the year. Mark your calendar for 24-27 March and prepare to immerse yourself in the vibrant Drupal universe in Atlanta, Georgia. You’ll make new friends, hear about the latest Drupal trends from top Drupal creators, and find answers to your questions. With beginner-friendly sessions, hands-on workshops, and a welcoming atmosphere, you’ll gain the needed confidence and knowledge. 

Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 20:29
. When applying principal component analysis in econometrics courses we often want to reduce data dimensionality. Eigenvalues and eigenvectors help us do that. In macroeconomics — especially when we use dynamic programming and Bellman equations to solve optimization problems — eigenvalues and eigenvectors help us determine convergence and stability properties. So — good to have […]
Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 18:00
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March 14th, 2025: Oh Tiny Batman H

Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 17:59

THE Reserve Bank’s first rate cut since 2020 has delivered a welcome boost to the economic outlook, but Australian consumers are still more pessimistic than optimistic. The Westpac-Melbourne Institute consumer confidence survey posted a strong four per cent gain in March, up to a three-year high of 95.9. Advertise with News of The Area today....

The post Consumer confidence surges on back of interest rate cut appeared first on News Of The Area.

Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 13:18
Chris Minns stands by the NSW hate speech laws. Kevin Rudd warns negotiations with Trump 2.0 administration will continue to be rough. Trump advocates for Tesla and Elon Musk. Zoe Daniels calls out some uncomfortable truths. What to do when it’s clear a mistake has been made: don’t back down @MaryKostakidis What to do when Continue reading »
Created
Fri, 14/03/2025 - 10:30

“Mr. Trump has acknowledged, despite all his confident campaign predictions that ‘we are going to boom like we have never boomed before,’ that the United States may be headed into a recession, fueled by his economic agenda.” — New York Times. March 13, 2025

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Listen, I’d love it if we could create a society that worked perfectly for everyone, but that’s not the reality we live in. In real life, you have to make choices—choices that lead to terrible outcomes for everyone.

I’m not anti-immigration. You think I relish the sight of families torn apart, my neighbors terrified to show up for work or send their kids to school for fear of an ICE raid? If I could wave a magic wand and no one would be deported, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But when I see the precipitous downward dive the stock market is taking, I know all that pain and suffering was worth it.