Let us set the record straight: President Trump is not a king, and the White House is not a castle.
To those suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome, a big, beautiful ballroom might reek of the worst of eighteenth-century Versailles; however, this particular gilded, jumbo-sized event space reeks of American spirit, unrigged elections, and Brut by Fabergé. This is a privately funded ballroom for the people—the ticket-holding, well-connected, Stephen Miller–vetted people—all at no cost to the American public.
Also duty-free? The crocodile moat we’re installing around the White House grounds.