“Kennedy’s alarming prescription for bird flu on poultry farms. The health secretary has suggested allowing the virus to spread, so as to identify birds that may be immune. Such an experiment would be disastrous, scientists say.”
— New York Times
A deadly strain of bird flu has been detected in the United States of America. This, apparently, is our problem, even though no one told us we were in charge of birds. But now that we’re all caught up, we here at the Department of Health and Birds(?) want you to know that there is no reason to worry. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has a plan—and we’re feeling really good about it. But just in case his first plan somehow fails (which seems unlikely, but you never know), he has also prepared some backup plans and some backups for the backups, which we are confident will be not only effective but extremely legal.
Plan A: Do Nothing and See What Happens
This plan is already in effect.