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“Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump and his party are scrambling to contain the fallout from a conservative Alabama court ruling that prompted some state providers to suspend in vitro fertilization treatments.”
— Reuters
Life begins at conception. Therefore, we must force girls and women to give birth because an embryo is a person who deserves full personhood, just like corporations. So when the Alabama Supreme Court decided that all embryos should be considered children, I rejoiced wholeheartedly—right up until the moment I saw the results of the National Republican Senate Committee’s internal poll.
In this column, professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.
So your best friend or sibling or child or cousin or a second-tier friend has asked you to give a toast at their wedding. In one sense, you should be honored—because you’ve been deemed one of the best people to put words to the exhilarating feelings associated with this unforgettable day. In another sense, you should be horrified—because you will be one of the last things standing between hundreds of travel-weary reception attendees and dinner.
But you can meet the moment and let the caterers mete out the meal, if you make these sacred vows:
Address the elephant in the room.