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MODERATOR: Welcome to our final presidential debate. Per the rules agreed upon by both candidates, President Trump is allowed to have Cyril, his African grey parrot, on his shoulder throughout the debate, but he may not receive advice or answers from him. Vice President Harris is allowed to have binoculars around her neck due to fall warbler migration. We will cut you off if you go beyond your allotted time or if Cyril starts shrieking. Let us begin…
THE ECONOMY
MODERATOR: Despite robust economic indicators, Americans are paying more for essential items at the grocery store and the pump. How will you address this?
TRUMP: I drove to Kearney, Nebraska, to see the sandhill crane migration, and gas was a hundred dollars a gallon, maybe more. Americans are having to choose between everyday necessities and the most spectacular bird migration in North America. It’s not right.
The era of the superpower is over. The new missile and drone technologies have made naval dominance impossible and ended the ability to devastate relatively advanced nations without them being able to shoot back. There is no power in the world that has the capabilities and might of the old USSR and the USA from 1945 to 2010 or so.
We have three great powers: China, the US and Russia.
There are regional powers: Brazil and Iran and the EU and Turkey and Japan and even India, which punches way below its population numbers.
But even a backwards, bombed to hell country like Yemen can defy America’s hold on the seas.
A ballot initiative to enshrine reproductive rights in the state constitution has a groundswell of support. Its success hinges on turnout.
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