I’m not into politics. Never have been. That’s why it was so refreshing to have a candidate who wasn’t the same old same old, but a raging animated ape.
Donkey Kong might not be the most sophisticated public speaker, but it sure was entertaining to go to his rallies. None of the usual bunk about policy and budgets. Just two hours of roaring and chest-pounding. No one gets a crowd going like that monkey! Or donkey. Whatever he is.
But for all the talk from pundits about how we’d see a new side of Donkey Kong once he took office, well, not so much. Turns out we got exactly what we voted for. Day one, he nabbed some lady in a pink dress, climbed to the top of the Capitol, stomped till the floors tilted into a back-and-forth pattern, and started rolling down barrels.
I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. President Donkey Kong’s entire platform was that he smashes things. But I figured he’d wait till after the first hundred days to give the system a good pounding. Nope. Right out of the gate, it’s been barrel, barrel, barrel, all day, every day. Some barrels even dip themselves in oil, combust, and then mosey around looking for trouble.