Okay, we’re just going to come right out and say it: We mistook your grandmother for another patient and brought her in for surgery this morning. This happens from time to time. Thankfully, the surgery went well. Still, we think it’s important to be as transparent as possible with our mistakes.
We’re sure you have many questions, and we intend to answer them all. For starters, how did this happen? The simple explanation would be that we meant to take her roommate, whose name sounds a lot like Doris and is also somebody’s grandmother. Unfortunately, it’s never quite that simple, since the patient we meant to take was a middle-aged man named Valentino on a different floor. We’re still investigating what exactly went wrong, but we suspect it may be related to staffing problems and the fact that the same person was responsible for both lunch orders and patient transport. It’s possible that when asked whether she wanted the chicken barley soup or house salad, your grandmother requested a knee replacement.
